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Mother @ The Dorchester

Place: The Dorchester, 53 Park Ln, London W1K 1QA, United Kingdom

Tea of Choice: Dorchester Blend & English Breakfast

Giraffe Rating (out of 5 | for tea): 4.92

“I got it from my mama”

When are we going to TEA? Where is my blog post? Why have I not been featured yet? After how many years? It’s my right as your mother. - Mother

This is the harassment that I have received from my mother for the last year or so. I would like to state on record that (a) we’ve been on different continents for most of this time, (b) we didn’t go to TEA in the way that the blog necessitates, and (c) how do write a blog post on, in my mother’s own words: “the one who ‘born you”. But alas here we are bringing in the New Year and a new era of tE(a)scapades with no other than my mother*.

My mother is rather strange [as am I] and demonstrated throughout life that being "normal" is highly overrated. The quirks you ask, let's go with the top 5:

  1. Drinking flat Pepsi is the same as drinking water, better than the crowd favorite (Coca-Cola) and an activity reserved exclusively for adults specially named Yinka Ojuri.

  2. Holby City, which in my opinion is the British version of Grey's Anatomy and medical counterpart of Eastenders (may be excommunicated for this statement), is hands down the best TV all 999.5 channels have to offer.

  3. It is possible to silence all humans with one look, and if they refuse to pick up the social cue, slightly raising the eyebrows ultimately results in their demise. #ultimatesassmastersupereme

  4. Jazzercise is a way of life.

  5. A national holiday should be instated for those wanting to attend the Ideal Home Show as it is single-handedly the BEST couple of days out of the year.

If you've ever wondered why I am so melodramatic? Please refer to the picture above. Why I have super long legs and an itty bitty torso? Please refer to the picture above. Why do I enjoy telling the events of the day like I'm addressing a wide audience? Please refer to the picture above. Why I don't take no for an answer, believe I am capable of achieving anything I set my mind to, see no limits to the world or my capabilities? Please refer to the picture above.

I couldn't or didn't want to write this blog post for fear of not doing it justice. I was not entirely sure how I could capture a 21+ year relationship in 500 words or less, but I love my mama (and have been subject to verbal [friendly] abuse). Thanks for being you and showing me what it means to be a #strong #independent woman, who is not bound by limitations or others' expectations. I'm pretty ecstatic that get to be your daughter, using the phrase that you love the most, it's lit**.

Pros and Cons: The TEA you ask? The Dorchester knows how to do finger sandwiches. I only bring this up because typically I have an aversion to this part of the tea ritual. However, if I could have just sat there and eaten sandwiches I would have been content (mind blowing I know). An aspect I do appreciate is that the divide up the elements of tea, rather than bring them all in one tower. They understand that sweet and savory shouldn't be near one another, all in all, they just get me. The only downside would be how the seating was arranged and the fact that I was in such close proximity to other humans, usually the need for a large personal space perimeter is understood by the Brits; but this was not the case.

Personal Pro: I was in the Motherland doing what I was created to do. It doesn't get any better. This is the height of success.

Thank you for coming [bringing me] to TEA with me, Mama.

*you see that slick rhyme right there?!

**Can confirm that my mother detests this phrase

Until next time,



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